How do people do this every day?
1. Stage 1: Waking up a little earlier than usual for whatever reason.
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2. Stage 2: Deciding to use your extra time to put on makeup instead of making a slightly more complicated breakfast or stretching.
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3. Stage 3: Envisioning how amazingly flawless you’ll look with a full face of perfectly blended, color-corrected, and contoured makeup.
4. Stage 4: Going through your makeup stash and trying to remember what all this junk is supposed to do.
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5. Stage 5: Realizing that half of your makeup is expired because the last time you wore it, dinosaurs roamed the Earth.
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6. Stage 6: Realizing halfway through putting on your foundation that you forgot primer.
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7. Stage 7: Not remembering if the concealer goes before or after the foundation and resigning yourself to doing it the wrong way. Again.
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8. Stage 8: Attempting something like a “daytime smoky eye” and ending up painting each of your eyelids a different shade of gray.
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9. Stage 9: You’re also now covered in glitter somehow. Head to toe. You don’t know where it came from. And it’s not coming off.
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11. Stage 11: Then totally messing up when you get to the difficult eye…
12. Stage 12: So you go back to the easy eye to try and match the other one…
13. Stage 13: And you end up messing up the first eye even worse than the second one and WHO DOES THIS EVERY DAY? WHO HAS THE TIME?
14. Stage 14: Trying to remember all of the lipstick tips you’ve heard throughout your whole life and drawing a total blank.
15. Stage 15: Instantly regretting your decision to try and get creative with the lip liner.
16. Stage 16: Then trying to hide your mistake with lipstick and just… no.
17. Stage 17: Also you now have lipstick on your chin/ear/eyebrow and you have no idea how it got there.
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18. Stage 18: Smudging the lipstick onto your cheeks because you don’t have any blush and you read this in a magazine once.
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19. Stage 19: Realizing that you used up all of your extra time and are now, in fact, going to be late.
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20. Stage 20: Feeling really weird about having all this stuff on your face because you can feel it on there and you’re sure everyone is judging you.
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21. Stage 21: Getting stuck in an insecurity spiral because what if it looks too “not you” and why did you even bother trying to do makeup in the first place ugh…
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